You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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