That's intense
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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