Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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