I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry about my life...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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