im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just tell him i said nine months
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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