I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
