please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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