If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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