he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize