I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
