Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
