i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize