You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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