just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
