what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
