Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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