Already got asked if we're dating
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
