I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
