woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
