She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
