VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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