hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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