Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
