hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
