the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
