Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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