Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
