I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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