Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
