I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
