Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
