What tipped you off? The sombrero?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
