You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
