3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm too high and old for this...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
