Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
