ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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