Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
