My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize