Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
