So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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