no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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