Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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