I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
