Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
