At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize