Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
