There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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