I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
