I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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