Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
