Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
