Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
