yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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