His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
