I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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