I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i think im in europe. pls send help
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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