I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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