i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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