nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
