Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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