I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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