I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love you. Go after that dick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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