i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
