did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
