That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
