Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize