i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
