does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize