i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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