I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
